FADE TO GOLD
by Loy Carlos
THE DEVIL IN THE DETAILS
The rest of my life. How simple would that have been? It’s been said that man plans and God laughs. I’ve found this to be painfully true.
Within two years, I was spending more time in the City than at home. The demands of work made it impossible to do anything over the weekends. No planting. No trimming hedges. No relaxing on the porch watching cars and people go by. I looked at my phone more than the inside of my house. I was looking out for emails more than I was looking out for birds on the trees. By the time I’d finally realized that my professional life and my home life were at odds, not only had I lost the vision, I had lost my sense of self. It turns out that making a living is not living. I had to relearn what it means to have a life. I had to remember what it meant to be me.
Legacy. That was the new goal. I resolved that whatever I did next, whatever path I chose would have meaning. Very few things in life come easy. People say that if you choose something you love to do, you’ll never work a day in your life. This is simply not true. The most passionate people in human history have all struggled. We forget that passion has always meant to suffer. Pain and passion are intertwined. Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Barberini, Edgar Allan Poe, Hemingway, Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, Maria Callas, Itzhak Perlman, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, etc. Anyone who truly cared about anything will find significant parts of that dedication painful. Because in the pursuit of excellence, failure is a necessity.
Continue
It’s impossible to know what’s better without knowing what’s not. Wisdom is earned through repeated lessons gained from trying and failing. We get to understand and appreciate degrees and nuances. What’s a small mistake, what’s a grave error? What is fixable, what is not? When do I cut my losses? Should I persist? Do I stay the course, modify my focus or approach? Or must I pivot?
There are no blanket answers. So many factors are variables: values, situations, perspectives, practicalities, realities. In one podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama noted that the focus in aligning “passion” with making a living is a relatively new thing. Previous generations did what they had to do to survive. They took jobs because they had families to feed, children to raise and send to school. They had to pay rent or the mortgage. And she’s right. Coal miners. Factory workers. Plumbers who spent days underground working on the City’s sewage system. Garbage collectors. The people who worked at the post office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. These people who do great, unheralded, underappreciated work do so because that’s what they do. No one is passionate about shit.
It’s impossible to know what’s better without knowing what’s not. Wisdom is earned through repeated lessons gained from trying and failing. We get to understand and appreciate degrees and nuances. What’s a small mistake, what’s a grave error? What is fixable, what is not? When do I cut my losses? Should I persist? Do I stay the course, modify my focus or approach? Or must I pivot?
There are no blanket answers. So many factors are variables: values, situations, perspectives, practicalities, realities. In one podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama noted that the focus in aligning “passion” with making a living is a relatively new thing. Previous generations did what they had to do to survive. They took jobs because they had families to feed, children to raise and send to school. They had to pay rent or the mortgage. And she’s right. Coal miners. Factory workers. Plumbers who spent days underground working on the City’s sewage system. Garbage collectors. The people who worked at the post office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. These people who do great, unheralded, underappreciated work do so because that’s what they do. No one is passionate about shit.
FADE TO GOLD
by Loy Carlos
THE DEVIL IN THE DETAILS
The rest of my life. How simple would that have been? It’s been said that man plans and God laughs. I’ve found this to be painfully true.
Within two years, I was spending more time in the City than at home. The demands of work made it impossible to do anything over the weekends. No planting. No trimming hedges. No relaxing on the porch watching cars and people go by. I looked at my phone more than the inside of my house. I was looking out for emails more than I was looking out for birds on the trees. By the time I’d finally realized that my professional life and my home life were at odds, not only had I lost the vision, I had lost my sense of self. It turns out that making a living is not living. I had to relearn what it means to have a life. I had to remember what it meant to be me.
Legacy. That was the new goal. I resolved that whatever I did next, whatever path I chose would have meaning. Very few things in life come easy. People say that if you choose something you love to do, you’ll never work a day in your life. This is simply not true. The most passionate people in human history have all struggled. We forget that passion has always meant to suffer. Pain and passion are intertwined. Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Barberini, Edgar Allan Poe, Hemingway, Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, Maria Callas, Itzhak Perlman, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, etc. Anyone who truly cared about anything will find significant parts of that dedication painful. Because in the pursuit of excellence, failure is a necessity.
The ground was a mix of red and yellow ochre. All around was surprisingly matte. I had always imagined that autumn in the suburbs was crisp and cinematic, like that last scene in Big when the young Josh was walking towards home, after an ideal “big” life courtesy of Zoltar and a well-spent quarter.
Continue
It’s impossible to know what’s better without knowing what’s not. Wisdom is earned through repeated lessons gained from trying and failing. We get to understand and appreciate degrees and nuances. What’s a small mistake, what’s a grave error? What is fixable, what is not? When do I cut my losses? Should I persist? Do I stay the course, modify my focus or approach? Or must I pivot?
There are no blanket answers. So many factors are variables: values, situations, perspectives, practicalities, realities. In one podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama noted that the focus in aligning “passion” with making a living is a relatively new thing. Previous generations did what they had to do to survive. They took jobs because they had families to feed, children to raise and send to school. They had to pay rent or the mortgage. And she’s right. Coal miners. Factory workers. Plumbers who spent days underground working on the City’s sewage system. Garbage collectors. The people who worked at the post office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. These people who do great, unheralded, underappreciated work do so because that’s what they do. No one is passionate about shit.
It’s impossible to know what’s better without knowing what’s not. Wisdom is earned through repeated lessons gained from trying and failing. We get to understand and appreciate degrees and nuances. What’s a small mistake, what’s a grave error? What is fixable, what is not? When do I cut my losses? Should I persist? Do I stay the course, modify my focus or approach? Or must I pivot?
There are no blanket answers. So many factors are variables: values, situations, perspectives, practicalities, realities. In one podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama noted that the focus in aligning “passion” with making a living is a relatively new thing. Previous generations did what they had to do to survive. They took jobs because they had families to feed, children to raise and send to school. They had to pay rent or the mortgage. And she’s right. Coal miners. Factory workers. Plumbers who spent days underground working on the City’s sewage system. Garbage collectors. The people who worked at the post office or the Department of Motor Vehicles. These people who do great, unheralded, underappreciated work do so because that’s what they do. No one is passionate about shit.
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© Classiques Modernes All Rights Reserved
